This video is about the preliminaries and it’s in greek so you might not understand what we are saying. Here is the full translation of the video. Don’t forget to like and subscribe for more content!
1. Is it necessary to do preliminaries ?
Preliminary foreplay is the term used to describe any form of sexual activity that is NOT penile penetration into the vagina. Some common activities, but not the only ones, are, for example, kissing, massage, irritating erotic zones such as genitals, breast, neck, etc., by hand or fingers, and oral sex. The purpose of all this, is sexual arousal. Preliminaries and penetration do not exclude each other, but neither do they presuppose each other. They also do not have a chronological order! Some of us enjoy sexual acts without the preliminaries and some others enjoy the preliminaries and do not want, do not feel ready, or are not interested in penetration. Some people are satisfied during penetration and others during foreplay, or both. Everything is normal and depends on the partners and their sexual needs.
Here are some important things to know:
- Biologically, sex foreplay gives our bodies time to produce hormones that increase sexual arousal. Vaginal fluids increase, which makes penetration (if any) easier and more enjoyable, and female clitoris enlarges and becomes more sensitive. The penis is also irritated and grows and its sensitivity to sexual stimuli increases.
- Emotionally, the preliminaries help people feel intimacy, warmth, and security with each other, which also make any sexual activity more enjoyable.
- During the preliminaries you can communicate with your partner about whether what you are doing is enjoyable or you would like to be touched in this or another way. CONSENT is the main component of positive and enjoyable experiences and the preliminaries give you the space and time to give it or ask for it.
2. Do you need protection in foreplay? And if so, why?
Protection is also important for preliminaries. Initially, during penile erection there may be fluids (so-called “pre-sperm”) that actually contain sperm cells. Due to the small amount of sperm in relation to ejaculation, the chances of pregnancy are small, but not negligible or non-existent. The use of a condom ensures that the few sperm cells will not find their way to the vagina! There are also sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), such as herpes, which are transmitted orally to the genitals through oral sex. The use of a condom protects against the transmission of such infections.
Safety is as important as enjoyment. Having sex with precautions reduces the stress of a pregnancy or an STD. Less stress = More enjoyment!
3. “I feel nervous – I’ve not gone that far with somebody in the past. I feel ready, but I fear that I will mess up and will not please my partner”
This sentence sums up one of our biggest concerns in a new relationship, especially if it is our first time to discover erotic sides of ourselves that we have never explored or even know of their existence. Feeling ready for the next step means that the relationship in which you are in has a strong emotional basis of love, security, warmth and intimacy, but also passion and love. At the same time, feeling ready can be scary. You question yourself about everything: “Will I make it? What will happen if I am not good at it? How safe is it? ” These questions are perfectly normal and to some extent, we have all asked them to ourselves when we discover our sexual existence with another human being for the first time. Fear is confused with anxiety, doubt, impatience, curiosity, passion for adventure, and excitement, and emotions coexist and change in fractions of a second. It is also almost certain that your partner feels that way. Even if it is not the first time for her/him, it is their first time with you! Enjoyment is important for both of you. To be sure about what you do and if it is enjoyable, try to communicate honestly about how you feel and what you need, both physically and emotionally.
EXPERT GROUP «ALL ABOUT SEX»
- Charis Asvestis, Andrologist-Urologist
- Chrysoula Iliopoulou, MSW/MEd Psyhcotherapist, Clinical Sexologist
- Vasia Bouba, Psychologist MSc
- Athanassios Thirios, Adolescent Health MSc
- Efthalia Tzila, Child Psychiatrist MSc
- Artemis Tsitsika, Asoc. Professor of Pediatrics-Adolescent Health, University of Athens
- Panagiotis Christopoulos, As. Professor of Pediatric and Adolescent Gynecology, University of Athens
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